My description of love

Love is not jus faries and rainbows,
And holding hands and looking at stars,
Love is beyond staring at eachother over coffee,
And taking on phone for hours,
This is love to me without exaggeration,
"Selflessness",
To be able to see beyond me,
To wanna view the world from your shoes,
To be able to wanna do anything for someone,
Without any shared physical bond,
No Loyalties or friendship wth no need or want,
I don't think I was trying to impress you,
I don't believe there is such thing,
I just wanted to make you feel loved,
To make you understand people can love,
Even if you don't need them,
Even if you don't know how.

Closely resemble me

What I do, what I do,
Is to try and look at myself,
As the other does,
But when I do, when I do, I realise,
What they see is not me,
their eyes are no mirrors,
They are like the sea,
If they are blue, I am blue,
If they are red, I am red,
If they are troubled, I am all blurred
I change with their highs and lows,
But when it's clear I can see through them
Something closely resembling me.

I am dying here not knowing

What is happening?
I am dying here not knowing,
Someone please temme,
Or somehow give me a clue,
I am dying here not knowing,
What's with you,
Someone please shout at me,
Or complain my stupid ass,
I am dying here not knowing,
What's with that lass,
Will my persistentance ever pay,
Or should it stop seeing another day,
Someone please say.
I am dying here not knowing,
Will she ever talk?
Did I do everything wrong,
I must've done something right,
They were not dots written long,
It was my freakn life,
I am dying here not knowing,
I don't know how to know,
my chest is so full,
I can hardly breath,
Yet I can't let go,
I am dying here not knowing,
It's either her or my dream,
Life with no agony and care,
No bondage, live everywhere,
But I wld choose her,
But would she,
I ve no balls to ask,
I will die without just knowing,
It's not such a horrible task.

I am a bad guy after all

I am a bad guy after all,
I keep saying the wrong things
Wrong things, I know,
I say it to the wrong people,
People who have no care to show,
I tell them in the wrong ways,
Though there are better ways to go,
I tell it as I see them,
Somewhere I think I have to grow,
I lost all hope I still try,
I fell such pain i don't know why,
I keep slipping and loosing,
Yet I keep popping and confusing,
With me and my stupid stunts,
They are not just playful and selfish,
Sometimes Stupid and childish,
Retarded yet bold,
Still nothing unfolds,
They will always be stories untold.

Moon

You wait for her to rise after sunset,
She brightens never too soon,
Adding the hint of light to the dark night,
She Glistens in all white the moon.

The possible truth

This possible truth on the other side,
Keeps calling me, pulling me,
But I am caught up in this foolish hide,
This is all know to me, seems safe to me,
I am afraid to let go take a free fall,
So I keep sticking to this horrid wall,
Wre people cry over made up emotions,
Shtng fr peace, silently craving commotion,
Running towards never ending sucess,
Claiming lands that was ment to be shared,
Power trymps love, humility takes a bow,
Where we are free to kill the voiceless,
we make senseless rules, fit to contain fools,
Where light is good, wen dark is the truth.

I fear the tongue

I fear the tongue,
That boneless twisted
Flexible tongue,
Everchanging,
Though it's kept strung,
The weapon
That can save,
Create, annihilate,
Keep you enslaved,
That makes kings,
Turns them in to nothing
In a day,
That which can start wars,
Can create demons out of
The most sessile,
Which can blind you,
Keep you curtailed,
Yet like all great weapons,
It's power lies,
With the one who wields,
For I fear the wielder,
Fear the intention,
For it could be just your
destruction.

I belong

I am neither right nor wrong,
I am neither weak nor strong,
I din't want to be here or gone,
I am not happy nor sad,
I am not always good or bad,
I am not just black and white,
I don't stay same day and night,
I am neither the predator nor bait,
I am neither queer nor straight,
I am not your foe not your mate,
I am not he or she,
But I am here, so I belong,
I am a human, we all you see,
you're different, so is me,
Don't tagg me just let me be.

I belong

I am neither right nor wrong,
I am neither weak nor strong,
I don't want to be here nor gone,
I am not happy nor sad,
I am not always good or bad,
I am not just black and white,
I don't stay same day and night,
I am neither the predator nor bait,
I am neither bent nor straight,
I am not your friend not your mate,
But I am here, so I belong,
I am not you, I am a different song.

I ve been under house arrest for some time now so I use my free class hours to watch movies ( I am a student, my parents have grounded me, I am 22 and welcome to India), so Yeh I go around spend the few free hours watching movies, so yesterday I wanted to watch this movie Yesai, so I managed to save rs.50 and I get to the theater, but the theater dosen't issue 50 rs tickets that is bull shit I tell u.
                         They didn't wanna give it out cuz they wanted to fill the seventy tickets first, but I didn't have 70 bucks, then they are losing 50 bucks it's bull shit, no use talking maths to those dumb fukrs, so I went to an other theater, to watch any movie, I had to spend my time, they said the same thing, then another theater again the same situation.
                      I had around a few hours to loose, and my college was miles away, my house way closer but I cannot go back nw, they wld kno I bunkd cls so I had to think of a way to spend my time alone with a very meager amount of money.
                

                      

Reason for my anxiety

Overthinking.

What is love to me without exaggeration

I think she is xtreamly beautiful I would choose her over any other girl, I can see a future with her, I wanna commit to her just her, something that I ve never actually felt b4, I wanna know her as a person, she is not a banging object to me, I just wanna know she is safe, she is out there, I don't care if ever  she likes me I jus wanna stay connected with her some how.
                  U could call this madness as I don't even know her, but I don't see how it cld end bad for the either party, love should be selfless but I love not only her, my parents, my bro, my life, definitely food and a lot of other ppl (frnds) and stuff are in the picture so I will not be decomposed if she doesn't love me, I will be disappointed probably dipressed but I will have other thing in life I can count on, so yep maddening and selfless love is still possible and dosen't necessarily have to be distructive.

Mini sombu