The kid with dreams

          Siddarth was so angry with his parents, as they never trusted his potential one bit, so he decided it's time to go, he packed his bags, left the house in wee hours of the morning, with a duffel bag full of his clothes, his guitar and some money and his 10 grade certificate. He had left a letter, explaining to the folks back home the reason for his absence, and how he will come back there as a winner after reaching his destiny.
           He boarded the first bus to the city, he was so excited and scared, had multiple second thoughts about the plan, but this seemed to him like the only way he could ever be a musician, his family was never pleased with his dream of being a guitarist, they explained to him again and again that very few made it big in music, and he was not that talented, studying was the only way for success for middle class families, he was not going to accept any of those excuses, they even went to the extent of stopping his guitar classes because they thought it was an hinderance to his studies, hence he had to leave, he couldn't take it anymore.
            After he made it to the city he had no idea what to do, never having gone anywhere alone before, he was naive, confused, he had to no answers to to the very basic questions for survival like, where to stay, who to contact, how to eat, how to reach his destiny, and the money he had was not going to help him for more than a few days, first day he slept on the bus stand bench, ate in the shops around the bus stand, the next few days, he asked passerbys on how to become a musician, very few stopped and responded, the once who did seemed to give him "multiple choices", "cinema, movies, kollywood, music director, padam", all those advises pointed him to one direction kollywood, he went to AVM  studios in chennai, it was closed down to make way for a multiplex complex, he roamed around the city searching for movie shoots, he asked the crew men for music chances, he was always shooed off, laughed at, rediculed, slowly his money started to dwindle Without any actual work, and he ate less and less until he had nothing to eat just scraps from temples, churches and odd marriage celebrations. He started feeling weak, Sleeping outdoors had taken a toll on his body, he repeatedly got sick, he searched around a few places for a job but they all declined him, he was so hungry so he needed some money, he had this big craving for poori in the road side.
                One day when he was roaming in the sunny afternoon,  Siddarth abruptly sat on the pavement in t-nagar, he spread his blanket, displayed his guitar and the few clean clothes he had with him, ready to sell anything for some food, he was so hungry, he sat there for hours all the while thinking  if he should go back home, or call them, may be God was punishing him for leaving home, he thought, he had been taught that is what happens to bad people like him who chase dreams against norms, kids who do not obey, when someone with a brown cap, beige shorts and khaki tshirts showed up disturbing his thought process, said "how much for those shorts?" Pointing at his favourite pair of black shorts, he didn't know what to say, thought about it and blurted " it's 200", capped guy replied "Rs 200, for these?, these look used, I will give you 70, what do say you?", he nodded, and snatched the money off the man's hand as  he offered it.
           He was about to go get the pooris he had been craving for, when the guy came back, "hey kid, how much for the guitar?", RS 300, Siddarth said spontaneously without thinking, "300? do you even know what this is worth?", examining the guitar which would atleast sell for RS 7000 if it was new "did you steal it from someone?", "no this is mine, I have been learning to play this for years" he replied, "if are you telling me the truth?, play it for me?", and Siddarth did, he played a couple of songs in succession, a small crowd gathered around as he did, he did not winch, it had been a few days since he played so it felt amazing, and when he stopped, all the people applauded, he felt proud, energised, accomplished.
         The man with the hat who waited patiently for all the applause to drown and people to move away, exclaimed "kid you are really good!, we have a small band which plays in functions, we are looking for a back up guitarist, we have decent pay and regular gigs do you want to join?". Siddarth suddenly lost his hunger.

Beetle babe

The idea of love

Love has many forms,
Can present in many ways,
Can occur in the most unexpected movements,
Can conquer even the most stubborn minds.
              This is the story of my friend in college, he was a very simple person predictable, easily distracted, laid back and extremely introverted, never had the the need to keep friends, never found the right words to say, never made anyone feel special.
                He always wanted to get involved, he liked people but he had no idea how, he wasn't made to be social, but he had friends, he never felt like he deserved them.
                His life went through a series of loops, slips, ups and downs, lack of interests towards his course made it worse, he stared drinking alcohol just for the thrill of it, then smoked, he stared off alone in hiding then when he was busted he found that he shared a similar interest with his friends.
                  He found that alcohol made him more talkative, social, funny, and interesting. He thought that he was finally happy, to him these pleasures seemed like happiness he loved it.
                  He started drinking frequently, slowly at first but then it started increasing more and more, his life to him seemed like a movie.
                  He started drinking in the mornings, then everyday, there were days when he wished he would be always drunk, many of his friends could'nt keep up with him a very few did and soon he stared drinking alone again.
                  He soon started feeling a void without drinking, he felt he was an emotioless being without it, restless, he forgot that he had a word out side, there were people who loved and cared for him.
                 One day everyone in his class went to a trip, he went along too, he didn't drink that day it made him very anxious he was restless, powerless, he sat there mostly like a stone seeing everyone sing, laugh, dance he didn't want to he didn't care but he acted at least tried. Then he saw her, that girl, he had seen her before in a function last year, she was so beautiful, her smile so bewitching, he wanted to kno who she was the last time he saw her. He didn't even think about alcohol, he couldn't, all he could think of was her, he wasn't making plans on how to drink that evening, he was actually peaceful after a long time he didn't know how long.
                   But it all got over too soon then everyone moved separate ways, he was happy for two days, then he forgot how it felt being happy, he forgot her, he stared drinking again.
                    He occasionaly went to class, one of those days he saw her again and those feeling came back again he wanted to talk to her, but he was a mess, she would never talk back to him, she seemed like someone who was out of that world, too precious to be reached by someone like him.
                     One day he bought a whole bottle of wine he drank it, he was sitting there thinking about her, she suddenly called him, he was overwhelmed with joy he took the phone and talked to her, she said come and see me tomorrow, and he went to see her why do you keep looking at me that way, he said he had never seen a women so beautiful, she blushed but she was stern "I don't like you, don't disturb me again"
                   He came back to his room full of agony this tis not the first girl he had a crush and definitely not the first relationship he was trying to develop, but he knew she was the one, the one running after, the one worth dying for.
                   He called her every day and promised her his love and loyalty, begged, wrote poems for her, wrote essays describing how much he loved her, sent her scores of emails,  she usually just resisted his attumpts , but after months she started talking with him, she told him that she loved him. To him that was the happiest moment in his life, they started going out, they talked for hours on the phone, he didn't need anyone else, didn't care about anyone else.
                  She was his life, she once told him that she would die if he left her, he told her if he ever left her it would mean he is dead. He loved every thing about her her shy smile, the twinkle in her eyes, the way she shouts at him, the way she laughed, the nick names she called him, how she didn't want to meet his friends because she was too shy to meet them, how she kept awake for hours to read and he wld stay awake just to keep her company, talking with her the whole time on the phone. The life they planned, the dogs they wanted to have, the places they wanted to visit. She was the treasure his life. One day, during a conversation she told him she cannot leave her parents if they ever opposed to their love, he was furious he told her she should have thought about it before she started loving him. He was said he never wanted to see her again. She left crying.
                    One day a couple of securities and a few friends dragged him outside, he came on to the open his parents were waiting for him it had been months since he saw them, they looked at him and started crying, he was puzzled why are they crying, his father hit him many times and pulled him inside the car. He didn't understand what was happening he knew they were over reacting, bringing him home like that, he was may be a little drunk but it was just alcohol everone drinks it.
                   He was restless he couldn't talk to her, he tried calling her she didn't pick up the phone, he called his friends, none of them picked up, his parents gave him food he ate it, they looked at him and started crying again, 4 days went by he didn't talk to anyone no one talked to him, she wasn't picking up his phone either. On the fifth day his parents came to him and said if you ever drink again we will die, why do you think we see you waste your life drinking, please stop this we are begging you. They started crying he stared crying with them, he couldnt see them that way. So he decided to stop no matter what. He wanted to talk to her say sorry but she never picked up the phone, she was angry with him too.
                  He went back to his college, started going to classes, slowly started talking with his friends, they were relieved to see he was back, months passed he was a very regular student now but he couldn't forget her, he called every day but the call never went through.
                   One day he saw her, he ran towards her and shouted her name buy she didn't even show  a hint of recognition, he didn't recognise too, she was the same person but he felt like he didn't know her. He said sorry and came back she smiled and moved away.
                     He asked his friends about her, his lover they didn't even know she existed he they told him he never even came out of his house, he was anxious, troubled, he looked at her number on the cell phone, "000000000" there were 10 0's.
                     He was struck with fear, what was happening, all those calls, those movements, the love, the places he visited they were still in his memory. But now they were more like a dream than reality, he started visiting all those place he didn't recognise many of them they looked a lot different than he remembered.
               He was going mad he was confused, he felt he was alone, he had to drink again, so he did hoping she comes back, she never came back, he wouldn't stop until she does. 
                    

The trip

             It was festival time, a big cultural event takes place here in our college every November,  "Sundance" is the best kind of  festival, its not religious, does not involve relatives asking about your grades, it's both fun and colorful, and most importantly open to other colleges, so It pulls a massive amount of audience and participants every year which means beautiful women, exotic food, amazing experiences.
          
It happens for 5 days and  comprises of various sports and cultural activities so there is also the adrenaline factor pumping up energies to the next level.
               
The day before the cultural, people started coming in, banners where up, colored lights, decoration, stalls the whole place looked like a huge carnival. We had the whole week off to prepare for the event, me and my friends had big plans for Sundance. Actually not big, but it did involve alcohol and transforming in to the much needed support system aka the audience.
                   
That night I was called up by a friend who told me that the one of  college secretaries who were in charge of the event wanted to meet me. I went and saw the guy he told me "brother, we are in big trouble we ordered around 1000 t- shirts  they cannot deliver it someone has to go there and bring it here and it has to be done immediately, can you please go?". The only question I asked him after he made the request was, who will sponcer the trip?, he said the college will, I took the assignment in a heart beat because I needed some money to enjoy the event, I thought I could save up on the trip money, there is bound to be some excess.
                    
I asked a friend who loved trips to accompany me, he was more than happy to. We collected around 2000 rupees from the secretary, we got all geared up to go.
                    
We studied in Jawanpur collage of engineering and technology, we had to go Borkar which is a 11 hour journey by train, all we had to do was go get the parcel and return back. Tickets were around rs 250  per head.
           
We reached the railway station at 4.45 pm, actually we were dropped there by 'the' college car which usually carries only important people, it felt like we were royalty, we bought the tickets and jumped in to our compartments, it was around 5.10 pm when the train started jittering forward.
                    
That evening, we played cards, then a game of chess, I lost, ate from the canteen, and it was around 9.30 pm when we decided to sleep. I inflated an air pillow and took out a very cozy bed sheet, climbed on the ladder laid down on the top bunker, my buddy Vishal took the bunker on the opposite side. I set the alarm at around 2.30 am on my cellphone, to make sure we get up at least an hour before we reach the destination.
                    
I was in Mexico riding a bull when the bull started yelling "Wake up, wake up", and then it just without any warning pushed me down, I woke up to a in shock to a very grumpy looking Vishal kicking me, I soon got oriented to where I was, and enquired, "why are you waking me up so soon, the alarm hadn't even gone off yet", Vishal said " you fool, its 5am", I was a little confused " what do you mean 5", he said it is 5 am we missed our stop.
                   
"We were standing in the middle of platform no 4 in Haripur station, at least 150 km away from our destination, the next train that passes via Bokar was at 7 am, we will have to get back there immediate to be able to deliver the t-shirts in time, Vishal wanted to take a dump, my bowels started growling too. So we went to the station toilet we didn't bring any bags because we weren't planning on staying anywhere, just a cover for the underpants and t- shirts we hit it under one of the chairs and went to the toilet
                      
After both of us came out we went to the counter, at the counter I signaled Vishal to take the money out, as all our money was in his wallet, he dug in to his pocket, immediately had this anxious look on his face, he  checked them again, I wondered  if something was wrong,  he opened his bags and started checking them out, I got irritated "tell me what happened", he looked up and said "my wallet, it's gone". I looked at him surprised "How?, did you check your pockets properly, this is not the time to play games with me", he shook his head, I understood he was telling the truth.
                
I asked him  "Did you have it on you, when you got down" , he replied that he did,  so we traced our way back to platform  4, we couldn't find it anywhere, I kept drilling him with questions "did you remember keeping it somewhere?", "did you leave it in the train?", "did you have it on you when you went to the toilet?"etc. He couldn't remember, so we checked everywhere, even the toilets, but we never found it, how the money got lost is still an unsolved mystery.
               
I was really  mad, I acted like a child and kept complaining and abusing the whole time we were at the station. Fortunately we saw a  railway policeman walking by, asked him for help, he gave us a white paper and asked us to write down a complain letter, he was even kind enough to buy us some breakfast, after we had explained our disastrous state to him.
               
We couldn't just call our college and explain the situation, it was a matter of pride to us, and our parents were so far away, we would just be worrying them they couldn't have helped us either, he was our only hope.
                
The policeman said he can help us, and took us to a place where many trucks were parked, he told us to wait in a fixed spot, while he went around investigating, after ten minutes he bought with him a sardharji, he was more than 6 feet tall, bulky,  he asked us "did you boys need a ride to Bokar", we nodded, he gave us a wide grin.
                
The police man pulled us aside "he will take you Bokar, but you will have to find a way to get to you home town from there, be careful these lorry drivers can be tricky, and keep this money with you", giving us a 100 rupees note, we refused at first but he was persistent.
                 
At 8.30 we started to Bokar in the truck, people from the college have already called us a few times to inform us that they need the t- shirts fast, we told them we are on the way, they said if the t-shirts aren't there by tomorrow they might never be able to sell any of them.
                    
The truck could accompany only one person in the front, so Vishal sat in the back, we agreed, we would take turns. The truck after traveling for 20 minutes, stopped in a place, some sacks and boxes were loaded on to the truck.
                    
The Sardar was a really jolly fellow he sang, made jokes and kept me laughing the whole time, but I was being a little cautious, because the policeman told us to be. At 10.15 am we stopped near a tea stall, it seemed like it was the only shop around for miles.

When I  finally saw Vishal I realized I had forgotten to switch seats like I promised, I went closer to apologize to him, but he  looked a little disturbed.

The Sardhar asked us if we wanted tea Vishal refused before I could say anything, I was really hungry I would have liked a tea. Vishal grabbed me by my hand, and pulled me aside and muttered "we have to get away from here", I was a little confused, I asked him why, he signalled me to that we gave to further, we an some distance away " now, tell me what happened? "l enquired, he said there was sacs of drugs in the truck, I thought he must have gone crazy, but then he showed me his hands, on them were this white  powder.
                    "Are those drugs, it must be just salt or sugar?", he said "of course it is drugs, you don't think I know  the difference, touch it", I did, it didn't feel like it was salt, and it was too powdery to be sugar, "my father had told me about causes Like these where may truck drivers smuggle drugs use innocent passerby as decoy to make him seem legit, but if he gets caught with us in it we would be indicted  too". I knew Visual's father was a police officer  but his story did not convince me "Hey, we were referred to the truck by a police officer too, you are being unreasonable and delusional".

So I decided we were heading back, but we a saw a police officer getting in to the back of the truck, I froze why would a police offices he in to the back of the truck "see I was right" chipped in Visual in a scared tone "they are checking the the sacs, they must have been tipped off by someone,  we should get away before  they arrest us too", we instinctively started running.
                    
We hid in a old isolated temple a few miles away, we decided to hide there until the truck left, we went back to the shop after an hour to out is curiosity.
                       
The uncle in the tea shop called us" there you are boys, the poor Sardhar, was searching all over for you, but a policeman who we wanted a lift to town was getting impatient so he left". I felt like an idiot, I turned to look at Vishal, he started running, I started running behind the guy, I wasn't  going to let him get away with ruining the trip this time, but I fell, Vishal saw me fall down, came to help me up, but I pulled him closer and punched him in the face.
                     
We were 30 kilometers away from Bokar, and we had only a 100 rupees note with us, there was no sign of any buses running that way, and we haven't even eaten since yesterday, we stood there hopeless and in despair.

I looked at my phone I had received 4 missed calls one from my mother, 2 from my college, and 1 from my friend. I called my mother and said I was fine, I didn't want to alarm her  unnecessarily, then called the college people and told them we were on the way and we will get there soon, then I called my friend, I needed someone to whine about Vishal, I told him everything, he shouted over the phone "why are you so stupid" I stammered in surprise, "me but... but... Vishal", without letting me finish he added "don't you know I come from Bokar, my house is there I will call my father and ask him to help you, he will pick you up wait ". I said this sudden surge of serotonin, I was jumping with the phone in my hand "thank you, thank you so much", he finally said "next time you call me first" and hung up.
                     
Ravi's father came to our rescue, he picked us up, gave us food, and put us on the train to our college, he also ported the t- shirt bundles to the train, we we're indefinitely in debt for everything  he did to us that day.
                     
When we came back to our college it was 2 am, and it looked even better than we last saw it, with more colorful people and sweet music,  everyone was waiting for us in the reception, it felt like we were hero's again seeing so many people waiting for us in anticipation, they all came towards us, seized the parcel, started looking at the t- shirts to see if they measured up, examined their quality, counted their number, we waited patiently for them ask us about  the trip and give us a pat in the back, but a couple  of them smiled us and took off, the rest just walked behind  them, didn't even care to give us a second glance.