Social anxiety

Room full of people
I don't fear you,
All those judging eyes,
Cannot Pierce though
My defenses.

1) (one), My completely blank mind.
Leaving my head dislodged,
For a few temporary minutes,
So no thoughts ever cross.

2) (two), My fast paced walk.
Will leave your judgements,
Gasping for air,
As they cannot be followed,

3) (three), The very last chair,
Behind a trusted few,
Barriers that can conceal,
The Haven.

The familiar stranger,
I know I have to greet,
If you see any of these,
I am trying to.

1) (one), The curl of the lips,
Because, my full smile is creepy,
And if not reciprocated,
The curl is disguised as a twitch.

2) (two), The uninterrupted stare,
A sign of acknowledgement,
That I know you, "hey, there,
I have seen you around".

3) (three), The head nod,
Upwards, downwards, sideways,
Because my limbs are frozen,
This is all I could manage.

All my house guests,
Who I don't know personally.
I have to dodge,
The small talk and akward silences.
I have certain protocols.

1) (one), Not coming out,
Of my tiny lair,
My Scheming station,
If there is even a hint of visitors.

2) (two), When the door bell rings,
I go hide in my room,
Yes, even when I am over 20.
Never even turning to have a second look.
Let someone else deal with it.

3) (three), When caught off guard,
I stand up politely,
Offer you the place to sit,
Even if all the chairs are empty,
As I march off to my pit.